A guys viewpoint on dating

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why dating is such a hard thing for so many people. I think that there is a lack of good communication on both sides. I know of miscommuncation and lack of communication but I don’t think anyone really has any good solid communication. I intend to present at least what I and others of the male gender have come to conclude about dating and why our side is so difficult. I know that its hard for people on both sides of the issue. I think that both sides want to sit back and say hey just do it this way and it will work. So here’s just one side of a two sided issue. Feel free to comment and leave the other side or more of this side that I may have left out. When I first started out in the dating world I didn’t know anything and life was simple and easy but through experience and through things I’ve heard other girls say I’ve come to know enough that it’s hard to function. Girls complain that guys don’t ask girls on dates and in many instances its true. I find myself falling into the trap of “well I’d like to ask her out but….” Here’s just a quick list of the things guys have to overcome when they ask a girl out. When you do find a girl you’d be interested in asking out(which can be a long process in and of itself), it has to be a girl you feel comfortable calling. I hate the phone and I always have. You can’t ask them out via facebook or text because that’s lame. I'm down for asking in person i'm fine with that(I’ve got the guts for that) but you have to separate a girl from the pack of other girls that she’s always with.(girls always travel together, even to the bathroom. Sometimes facebook chat is the only time a guy has to get a one on one conversation in with a girl) Next, you have to have a plan in mind of what you want to do. (I’ve heard girls complain that guys are too indecisive and unprepared and that they hate it when guys don’t know what they want to do) That plan must not include dinner and a movie(Standard first date and I’ve heard girls say it just shows a total lack of creativity and then they feel guilty because it costs so much money etc) It has to be something that you haven’t done with another girl in the recent past (Girls are all connected through the girl network. Gossip gets across town faster than you can drive and girls know who you last took out and what you did with them) Also you have to factor in what sorts of things she’d enjoy. If you pick something she doesn’t like, it won’t be a fun time and you probably won’t even have a chance at a second date. But you also have to be confident and assertive. I’ve had more than one workable idea at the same time(given all that it has to pass through to be a workable idea it’s a miracle) and so I left it up to a girl to choose what she’d like best out of the ideas I presented. She was upset and said that it’s my responsibility as the guy to do the choosing. I would have been fine with any of the three I was just trying to get her input to make sure I wasn’t doing something she hated. On the other hand however I’ve heard girls say how they hate it when guys are domineering and don’t let them have any say in what’s going on and just completely dictate what’s going to happen. Oh lets not forget that you have to make sure she’s not dating someone that you haven’t heard about(because guys aren’t connected on this girl network where all information is transferred at the speed of light) If you don’t date enough girls get frustrated because you aren’t doing your duty. If you go on lots of dates with lots of girls you’re in trouble for asking too many people out and repeating ideas and all that sort of stuff. If you ask one person out till they reject you and then go for the next person until that doesn’t work out either and then the next person you get accused of being a jerk because girls feel like they’re a backup plan or a plan B or second best. There’s only so many things to do in this town.. Not only that but when you’ve been dating for a while you’re bound to have some bad experiences and so you learn from them and you try not to repeat the same mistakes. Now I not being the most perfectly observant don’t know what caused a lot of the problems. So I just avoid a whole big group of things because I know its in that group but I’m not sure what exactly it was. I think every guy has had some sort of experience where he asked a girl on a few dates and a few dates turned into a few more dates and still nothing had come of it. The girl wouldn’t say no and the guy doesn’t know what’s going on and he does everything that’s part of his job. He keeps asking and seeing what will happen only to have it end piteously. Then there are the girls who don’t have the guts to say outright no but will still lead you on in their own way. You ask them out and they say oh I’m busy that night, or oh I have other commitments and guess what I’ll take a girl at her word when she says that because I’m optimistic and presume she’s honest since that’s the sort of person I’m interested in. All of these bad experiences are playing through his mind and he has to get over them to ask a girl out. Then there’s the whole expectation of what a first date should be. Some people say a first date shouldn’t be a big deal and that it’s just a way of getting to know a person. Some people feel it to be a commitment. You have no way of knowing what the girl thinks until after you ask you. She might think the same as you and she might think differently. In the end with all of the different expectations that are put upon you its hard to tell what to do. In most of the things I mentioned there’s not really a way for a guy to find a winning solution. In some cases you could be in trouble if you do something or you could be in trouble if you don’t do that same thing. At any rate this has become rather lengthy. So If anyone has any comments about this feel free to reply and I’ll put them up. Or if you would like to remain anonymous or if some girls want to put their heads together and brainstorm and put up the other side of the story and send it to me I’m willing to post it as well. I’m not saying that what I’ve written is perfectly correct and that girls should change to make things work according to this way of doing things I’m just getting out some more information so girls can know sort of what a guy is thinking, and maybe post some relevant helpful feedback. Also if I’ve left off any factors(which I’m sure I have) guys feel free to add to this. 

One thing wrong with society

Today I'm really noticing something horribly wrong with our society. There are lots of other problems but today I wanted to focus on just one thing. Our news media overcommorates the deaths of famous people. Its a wonderful thing to mention that someone has passed away and speak a couple of nice words about them. However, what our current media does is ridiculously more than that. They have biographies and special programs and they go on and on and then they keep talking some more about people who have died. Our culture has become obsessed with death. I was listening to the radio today and inbetween songs they were taking calls from people who wanted to talk about Michael Jackson's passing. People were saying things like "I've been balling my eyes out since i've heard the news." and "I haven't been able to function or do anything today since I heard about it." That's the type of reaction I would expect from someone who had just lost a family member or close friend. For those who are family and close friends of Michael Jackson that would be an appropriate response, but for the average Joe such a reaction is completely overblown. Let's look at the facts logically here. Before he passed away anyone could listen to his music on the radio and see his videos on television and the internet. A few could even go and listen to him perform in concert. We still have all of those things recorded. The only thing that the average person is losing is the chance to go see him in concert. So for what they're losing, their sense of loss is completely out of proportion. The media has completely made things too dramatic. The responsibility doesn't lie with them completely because they're only doing what sells and what will make them lots of money. We the people who are buying into such things are the real problem but I can still hope for the media to have enough integrity to be above such ridiculous tactics.

change

Recently i've been contemplating some changes that have been put upon me. I've been reassigned the the ammon 20th branch. I've spent the last 17 months in the 19th branch being as happy as can be. As i try to come to peace with this situation I came across a scripture in 1st Nephi 11:16-17. Nephi is asked the question "knowest thou the condescension of God?" or in other words do you know why God does the things he does and what his purposes in all things are?  and Nephi's response sums up what i need to remember.  he says "I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless i do not know the meaning of all things" I know that Heavenly father loves us and that everything that happens to us is because of that but i dont know why things are happening like they are.  I dont know why the branches are being changed in a manner that doesnt make any sense to me(in fact quite the opposite) but i do know that God is in control of it all and that He loves each and every one of us so this will work out for our best interests. I dont know how but i know that he loves us and hopefully that can be enough for me.